PegLegs and Me

  Last weekend I found myself sitting in the warm winter sun, cutting my toenails. It was one of those ordinary moments that most people never think twice about. The kind of moment that comes and goes unnoticed. As I sat there soaking up the warmth, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. At this very moment there are wars raging somewhere in the world. Soldiers are fighting. Families are fleeing. Children are losing parents. At this very moment there are murders being committed, robberies taking place, drugs being sold, people being trafficked, women and children being abused, corruption flourishing, and countless other atrocities unfolding across the globe. The list is almost endless. Yet there I sat, quietly trimming my toenails in the sunshine. None of those horrors were touching me directly in that moment. Or were they? The truth is that while we may not experience every tragedy personally, we all live beneath the same troubled sky.  Most of us don't spend our days standing a...

  When I was still able to go for daily walks I met amazing people along the way, some of whom became good friends and continue to visit me on a regular basis. I want to share a thought with you about my island in the sun , but before I go there, I’d like to fill you in on the reason to create such a place. It was a visit from one of these friends, who after listening to me vent, suggested that I build myself an island – create my own safe and secure escape. A happy place that I can visit any time and as often as I want. I have undergone some serious changes in my life. Not only financially or physically, but my whole psyche has changed. It’s like I’ve taken on a whole new persona, a hunchback of Notre Dame, if you will. A hidden kind of monster that is trying to force its way out, against all odds, against my best efforts to contain it. And what a monster this is that even I fear him. Who knows what he is capable of? Tanja, being very perturbed by my mental (in)stability dec...

This is not going to be a lengthy piece. This is just me sharing something special with you. How often in life do you find something really worth saving, or sharing for that matter? Out of all the stuff we gather through the years, so much is often tossed out after some time because it has lost its significance or value.  Yesterday, it was Mother's Day here is South Africa and this year my birthday fell on the same day. Not that I care to be reminded that I'm getting older, but it's still nice to receive all those messages and calls and lovely birthday wishes from near and far.  For me, this birthday was pretty dreary. We live in the Western Cape and our winter arrived much earlier and with a vengeance. Strong winds, heavy rain and in certain places flooding and destruction. I don't mind rain, occasionally, but our winters are so unpleasant. Even after living here for more than 27 years, in this beautiful part of our country, it still gets to me.  However, it wasn't...

  Living alongside a double amputee has taught me that the greatest struggles are not always the ones people can see. When people see an amputee, they often notice the obvious first — the missing limbs, the prosthetics, the crutches, the wheelchair, the altered way of moving through the world. What they don’t always see are the battles that come with it. They don’t see the phantom pain that can come from a limb that is no longer there. They don’t see the discomfort of a residual limb, the long healing process, the skin irritation from prosthetics, the pressure sores, the balancing struggles, or the frustration of having to relearn things that once came naturally. They don’t see how much energy it can take just to do what others may consider ordinary. Getting dressed. Bathing. Walking. Turning. Climbing stairs. Sleeping comfortably. Even something as simple as moving from one room to another can require thought, patience, and effort. And then there is the emotional side — often...

  Someone asked me a question this week that stopped me in my tracks. “Do you have a Plan B?” It was asked kindly. Practically. Sensibly. But it didn’t land practically. It landed here — in that quiet place where fear lives. What will you do if Danie dies? What will you do if your small business doesn’t work out? What if everything you are holding together… simply unravels? I smiled at the time. Gave a reasonable answer. Something about taking life one day at a time. But later, alone, the question replayed in my mind. Do I have a Plan B? The truth is — my life already feels like Plan Q. Some days it feels like I’m doing a strange, disjointed dance. One step forward, two steps back. A sale here and there … followed by an unexpected expense. A moment of hope… followed by exhaustion. A burst of confidence… followed by doubt. It’s not a graceful waltz. It’s more like a dismal shuffle on uneven ground. And I find myself wondering: Is everyone’s life like this? Or is it ...