Living with someone who suffers with chronic depression can be overwhelming. As long as I have known Danie, he has suffered with serious depression. Add to that all his other disabilities and diabetes, and you have a recipe for disaster.
We used to walk through the mall on weekends before Danie lost his legs.
Now, he doesn’t want to walk amongst the millions of stares, which I can
understand. He often says he feels like the court jester 😊 Well, a man with two iron legs is not
something you see every day. One time, when we still had the bar, Danie made
the huge mistake of showing two little black children that he could “magically”
remove his legs. Oh my word!! What a fiasco! Those children took off like a
rocket, in between the musicians who were doing live music for us, tripping
over the drum set, screaming at the top of their voices, causing a disastrous upheaval.
Obviously, Ironman’s legs are not detachable.
A client from our previous mechanical workshop once said to Danie that he has observed two things about him: He’s either surfing the big waves or wrestling the seaweed on the ocean floor. There’s no grey area. Even Murphy, our Cocker Spaniel, finds a hiding place when Danie’s aura is on the dark side.
But depression is no joke. It’s a serious condition which is difficult to treat. Head doctors want to prescribe all kinds of drugs, which is definitely not a one-shoe-fits-all solution. Plus, there’s a document included with the medication, describing a list of side-effects which you may or may not experience, including, and I kid you not, depression! Seriously? “I’m giving you these pills for depression, but beware, you might just suffer from depression”. Talk about a double whammy.
For Danie, depression is an inherited problem which runs in his side of the family. His one uncle suffered with bipolar disorder and the other was schizophrenic, and his aunt had depression. Unfortunately, our son also suffers with severe depression and has since he was very young.
Depression impacts not only the sufferer but also his immediate family, relationships and daily activities. Finding a solution is more challenging than you think. First of all, you need to identify the problem.
How do you define or identify Chronic Depression:
- During a depressive episode, a person experiences a depressed mood (feeling sad, irritable, empty). They may feel a loss of pleasure or interest in activities.
- A depressive episode is different from regular mood fluctuations. They can last most of the day, nearly every day, or for at least two weeks.
- poor
concentration
- feeling
very tired or low in energy
- feelings of excessive guilt or low self-worth
- hopelessness about the future
- thoughts about dying or suicide
- changes in appetite or weight
- disrupted sleep
Wow! This is not an easy issue to deal with. First of all, you need to step up and tackle the problem head on (pun intended). The most important step is to find support, even if it means someone outside your immediate circle. My dad always used to say, when he needs intelligent conversation, he talks to himself. I would, however, not recommend this to a depressed person. Talk to someone else, please.
Self-care can also play such a big role in managing the symptoms and promoting overall well-being. As mentioned in the The Power of Positive Blah Blah Blah there are a few energizing things you can do:
- Take
daily walks;
- Meet
and greet people, even if you’re “not in the mood”;
- Don’t isolate yourself. That’s the worst thing you can do. Talk to someone you can trust;
- Take part in activities you enjoy, especially if it takes you out of the negative space you’re in;
- Laugh - even if it's at yourself. It's a great mood lifter;
- Take
care of your body and practice healthy eating habits. Cut the sugar and the bad
carbs!
When Danie’s health took a sudden turn for the worst when he was about fifty, I asked Sr. Lidia Krijt (what an amazing person), who was treating his wounds, where he could get intravenous vitamin C treatment. I had read about how effective it was for treating people with Celiac disease, since a compromised digestive system no longer absorbs sufficient nutrients from food. Sr. Lidia referred us to Dr. Landman (another amazing person) who immediately began the drip treatment on Danie. Besides the desired nutritional results, he felt an overall upliftment in his mood and decided to stop the anti-depressants (which weren't working anyway). Please remember, this is not medical advice, only our experience. To this day, Danie still has his monthly drip treatments and, fingers crossed, it works. He has his occasional dips, but gets back up much sooner than he used to.
There’s a stigma about depression which makes people hesitant to seek help for it. It is a very real, life-threatening problem and if not dealt with might lead to self-harm and even suicide. But by taking a few practical steps, it can be managed and life can still be a positive experience filled with hopes and dreams.
And for goodness sake, don’t tell a depression sufferer to “pull themself
together”. Nope, I don’t recommend it. It will certainly backfire on you.
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