Someone commented that a few of our blog posts are negative and blasphemous, however, it is not our intention to dissuade anyone from their beliefs. Remember, this is our story, our interpretation of our experiences, and every part of it is the truth.
Part I (by Danie)
Stockholm Syndrome became the name
of a mental condition after a bank-robbery-gone-wrong which took place in
Stockholm, Sweden. (There’s a brilliant 2019 movie with this name which we
highly recommend.) On August 23, 1973, convicted thief Jan-Erik Olsson, 32,
tried to rob a bank in downtown Stockholm while on furlough from prison. Police
responded quickly, and a standoff ensued.
Olsson, armed with a submachine
gun, took four bank employees’ hostage and demanded 3 million kronor, a
bulletproof vest and a getaway car. He also demanded that his former jail mate,
Clark Olofsson, be released from prison and brought to the bank. Authorities
agreed.
The drama played out on live
television in Sweden as police tried to persuade Olsson and Olofsson to
surrender. Even Prime Minister Olof Palme got involved in the negotiations.
At one point, a hostage, Kristin
Enmark, told Palme over the telephone that she was afraid of the police, not of
the two criminals. She appealed to authorities to meet their demands. Enmark
later said she had developed a bond with Olofsson, whom she saw as the
guarantor of her safety.
Two police officers were injured with gunshot wounds during the standoff, which ended on August 28, 1973 when police, using tear gas, stormed the bank, arrested Olsson and Olofsson and freed the hostages. When this traumatic event was over, the hostages defended their captors by not wanting to say anything that might endanger their captors’ freedom.
Stockholm Syndrome appears when an abused victim, develops a kind of respect and empathy towards their abuser or captor. This usually happens because the victim sees the smallest act of decent behavior as an extracted event which makes them see their captors as essentially good. This way they leave aside all the negative behavioral distinctions of their captors and focus on the positive ones. It is basically a trauma based defensive response to events which are beyond one’s control. This syndrome is also called “traumatic bonding” or “victim brainwashing”.
We were victims of this syndrome, my wife and I. We were born into a church denomination that was expecting the imminent return of Jesus and that it would happen in our lifetime. The devastating circumstances that were to be the precursor of this event was referred to as the “Time of Tribulation”. During this time our faith would be tested to the limits and should we endure, we would be caught up into the sky to meet our savior.
As youngsters we were taught to memorize passages of scripture, to recall and recite it later when needed. Doctrines and dogma were imprinted in our minds. Then of course, we grew up and got married, then had children of our own, doing the exact same thing to them. They also needed to be prepared for this life-altering event. Every morning and every evening they were read to from the children’s bible story books, taught to pray on their knees every day, and often reminded that the end was coming soon. No future plans were made - no study funds for the children, no pension for our old age, nothing. The end was too near for trivial plans.
Some of the bible stories that are considered profound are tremendously harsh, yet we expected our children to admire them.
- God gives mankind free will, then regrets that he’s given it, and destroys every living creature with a flood;
- God hardens Pharaoh's heart, then kills all the firstborn of Egypt, sends ten devastating plagues and obliterates the army;
- Elisha, a prophet of God, teased by a group of 42 children, calls down a curse on them and they get mauled by two bears who appeared from the forest;
- Two people are struck down and die because they gave less money to the apostle Peter than they originally pledged;
- If you’re good you’ll go to heaven, and if you’re bad you’ll burn in hell, etc.
Ultimately, what we were doing, was scaring our children into submission, creating a Stockholm relationship. If religion was not allowed to be taught to children before the age of eighteen, I’m almost positive they would question it.
To tell you the truth, if all the different religions of this world were not based on a fear-and-reward system, the deities would probably be ignored. Scaring people into submission is not a love-based philosophy, it’s a Stockholm philosophy. This is one of the things that we tried to change when we had our own ministry – remove the fear, remove the condemnation, remove hell. Instead, we promoted and preached love and compassion to people who were already feeling condemned and guilty. (More on this ministry in a future blog post).
I’m handing over to Tanja now for
sanity’s sake. She will share an unbelievable time of our lives to
further demonstrate the topic at hand.
Part II (by Tanja)
You kind of expect children and
youth to do stupid things from time to time, but when you become an adult,
you’d expect that you are going to be wiser and less inclined to do stupid
things. Well, that, unfortunately, is not always the case, but in our defense,
we were sincere and completely convinced that what we were doing was the right
thing.
It was around 1994 when Danie believed that he had been called to take the truth of the “end times”, according to the book of Revelation, to the people of South Africa, warning them of coming judgment should they not repent and accept God’s offer of mercy and grace, which would soon end. This judgment, would reveal to the world who God really was: a just and righteous God, a God who would send down asteroids and meteorites, earthquakes and floods to destroy the disobedient and force them into submission. Danie was so overwhelmed by and convinced of this message of Revelation, according to the interpretation of a preacher and author in the USA, that he just had to go warn the people of the impending destruction. Warning! Revelation is About to be Fulfilled.
We decided to sell everything we possessed – house, cars, furniture, even the children’s toys. We bought a large caravan and a mini-bus, put all our remaining possessions in it, printed thousands of booklets, and off we went. I started home-schooling our daughter and son (and continued until they completed high school), so that they could be a part of this full time, on-the-road evangelistic campaign of ours. We held seminars in schools and town halls, paid for by ourselves and our few supporters. Danie preached on busy street corners, in train coaches and in hospital wards.
As mentioned in Part I of this piece, the message was one of fear and reward. Repent and be saved, or not, and be doomed to eternal damnation. We travelled the country with Danie preaching and teaching at every given opportunity. It was imperative that everyone heard the message and were given the opportunity to make the right decision before D-day.
Our caravan days lasted almost two years before it came to an end, but it was not the end of our crucial message of impending doom. We continued to print literature and spread the message.
But (and by this time I’m sure you know us a little better), we had to take it one step further and we bought a house in Sutherland (of all places), to prepare a place of safety from the catastrophes which were headed to an unrepentant planet. We prepared the house with careful consideration to all types of “end-of-the-world” scenarios. A coal stove, anthracite, firelighters, paraffin and matches for when the electrical system failed; Thermal clothing and underwear for the extreme cold when the ash and smoke from volcanic eruptions would block out sunlight; Canned foods, legumes, salt and 1 ton of wheat in specially treated containers; Toiletries, other essential ladies items, all sorts of medical supplies, plus insulin for Danie. We put up massive water tanks to catch rain water and put cladding on all external water pipes (considering it’s Sutherland, cladding is actually dead standard if you want running water in winter).
On top of all of this, every one of us had large hiking backpacks with all the essentials including sub-zero temperature sleeping bags, the best hiking boots, medical supplies, etc. This was in case we had to flee our safety house and live in the mountains. These were serious matters and we were prepared for the inevitable.
This is not a joke, it’s the honest-to-goodness truth. We were go-be-doers. We preached what we believed and believed what we preached.
Tell me, how serious is your faith? Mmm?
We eventually left our Stockholm
relationship behind, however, we are haunted with regrets of what it cost us
and how it affected us and our children’s future.
All we can do is stand up, dust ourselves off, and learn from our mistakes.
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