Smoke and Mirrors

 

Part I (by Danie)

I had a very vivid and significant dream a few years ago. I found myself in a small rowing boat with both my wrists chained to the oars. My surroundings were thick, like mist, and dark, very dark. I could not see anything around me, but I could hear splashes and moaning. I was surrounded by other little rowing boats which were bumping against each other but not moving in any direction. The moaning was from the others sitting in their own little boats, chained to their oars just like me. Why was nobody doing anything? I waited a while, listening, observing, trying to figure things out. But my patience quickly ran out and I took hold of my oars and started pushing the others away from me to make room for movement. Using all the strength within me I started rowing, beating the water with determination, until I finally realized that I had moved away from the crowd of rowing boats. I continued rowing through the darkness, not knowing where I was rowing to, but also not content to sit still like the rest. Finally, after some time I could make out the faint sound of waves as they reached the shore. I moved in the direction of the sound until my rowing boat stopped. I dipped my hand into the water and felt soft sand flowing between my fingers. In that very moment, my chains fell loose from my wrists and I was able to stand up and step out of the boat. The minute my feet touched the surface of the water and sank into the soft sand, the sky became lighter. It was daybreak! I woke up!

Rosa Luxemburg said: “Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.”

Our quest for the real McCoy was an ongoing one. We were not content with the teaching and preaching of the popular churches, neither were we content with blind faith and fear. Our search was for truth. Our search was for this tangible, living connection which was being preached about but nowhere to be seen or found.

We started a home group with a few people, who were also sincere in their search, revising our beliefs and filtering out we felt didn’t fit into a love-based faith. Fear – did not fit. Specifically, fear of hell.

Here is what I think about hell: What exactly does eternal punishment solve? Does it fix what was broken? Nope. Does the sinner get a chance to correct his behavior? Nope. Do the unsaved get a chance at redemption? Nope. This concept is only useful for one thing and one thing only: To receive pleasure through the suffering of others, like the Holocaust. 

The concept of hell could only be created by an imperfect, sadistically evil being. It is not something that can be on the resumé of a loving, intelligent, good being. However, it is something that one could expect from humans, most probably because we created the idea to start with.

We decided that our focus point as a group would be to search for the real Jesus. We literally went from church to church, ministry to ministry, testing and trying to see if what they professed was, in fact, the Truth. At one mega church, the musicians and singers were leading the people into a more subdued ambience. The chorus was repeated over and over to the point of my irritation. At the back of the hall, a man was frantically trying to finish his cigarette, then flicked the burning butt away, walked down the isle and immediately fell over and began speaking in tongues. My immediate thought was: Who is controlling who?

More and more people joined the search and our group grew until we were forced to rent a small factory. We even had a few pastors with their followers join us. We did not allow the preaching of wrath and condemnation, and we did not allow the collection of tithes and offerings at our meetings. Donations to expenses were welcome, but not as part of the meeting time.

We unanimously agreed that the foundation of The Meeting Place (as it became known) would be the Jesus of John 14 vs 6: “I am the way, I am the truth, I am the life.” And, if we truly found what we were searching for, we would stand out as a beacon: “One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all” Ephesians 4 vs 5, 6. We knew what we eagerly wanted, but were cautious of the imitation.

One of the pastors who joined us and saw our earnest search, believed that what we lacked was the manifestation of the holy spirit - this included speaking in tongues, laying on of hands, falling over or dancing in the spirit. Without it, according to him, we would never find what we were looking for. Within a short period and with his guidance, many of us were experiencing these phenomena. We had the right message, we had the musicians and the band, we had the love, we had the sincerity, and .... 

Now that we had the experience of the spirit, I was expecting the “greater things” to start taking place in our midst. The miracles that would be the proof that we finally had what we were searching for. At one particular meeting, we decided that people could give their testimonies. This is what followed:

• I was ready to leave for work but couldn’t find my keys. I was already late but sent up a quick prayer for help. Praise Jesus, I found them within a few minutes and got to work on time.
• My dog got out of the yard and even after searching the neighborhood, I couldn’t find him. I prayed and the next minute he came walking through the door. Praise the Lord.
• I had backache from lifting a heavy box and prayed that I would find a parking space with ease. I got one right in front of the mall's door. Hallelujah!

Disappointment flooded my soul. Where were the real miracles, the signs and wonders? Where were the blind receiving sight; the deaf hearing again; the cripple person walking; children healed from cancer; the dead receiving life again? Where?

Smoke and mirrors, that's all it was. Smoke and mirrors.

The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche told a story which took place in a huge market place with lots of peddlers selling goods. A man appeared at midday, holding a burning lamp, searching frantically for something he had lost. The people mocked him and then someone asked what he was searching for, to which he replied, “I am looking for God, but cannot find him, for it is you and I that killed him.”

To my great dismay, I came to the conclusion that we too were no different, just another group going through the stereotypical movements. I closed the doors of The Meeting Place after some time, until I found the answers. I was not going to carry on endlessly with a mediocre experience.

When would the real Jesus stand up?

Until this happened, I would not continue on this path.

Part II (by Tanja)

By this time most people reading our blog posts will have noticed that we are no longer believers. We left religion because of all the confusion and discord it causes, because of all the disappointments. When we were religious, we lived our faith to the extreme and put every ounce of strength into our ministry with the hope of changing the world. We constantly challenged ourselves to reach more people, touch more lives, find answers to questions which nobody had (or nobody dared to ask), and search for the purest form of faith. We took the bible literally, especially when Jesus said to his disciples: “Greater things than I have done, you will do.” If the bible said it, we believed it, and that settled it.

I recall the times that Danie pulled disabled people from their wheelchairs, praying and believing in their healing, only to put them back down again. I recall the time we all fasted and prayed for healing after anointing a lady dying from cancer, who had two small children. And she died. I recall the time Danie, with utmost faith and conviction, fasted and prayed for a dead man to receive life again and be returned to his family. Yes, you read it right, a dead man lying on a cold stainless-steel trolley, in the morgue, every bone in his body broken after a fatal motorcycle accident. And, sad to say, life did not return to his lifeless body. Why? According to the bible, with great faith we would be able to do these “greater things” than Jesus did when he was on earth, even moving mountains. And we believed it! And we acted on it! Why would we even try to do things like this? Can you see the problem here?

The problem (if you want to call it that), is that when you continually search and question, you become dissatisfied with the ho-hum and expect more than what is being offered by conventional Christianity.

One man turned to Danie after hearing all of this and said that he (Danie) expected too much from God. Really? Was this our problem? Did we, like everyone else, misinterpret God’s word? How big is your God? Creator of heaven and earth; doer of the impossible; almighty; all powerful. Did we really ask too much of him?

I read this quote on the internet: “No man ever believes that the bible means what it says. He is always convinced that is says what he means.” The bible according to man’s interpretation. Maybe we simply understood it wrong? I think that’s why there are so many varieties and flavors of religion in the world. The gospel according to our interpretation. Forget the King James or the NIV or the Good News or the Lamsa or the Greek or the Hebrew versions. It is the “I am right” version.

I want to tell you a story of faith.

Remember that biblical story of Lazarus being raised from the dead by Jesus?

In 1986, Danie’s brother Douw died tragically at the age of eighteen in a head-on motorcar accident, while driving to pick up his girlfriend for our engagement celebration. The two brothers were extremely close, like the biblical David and Jonathan. They even dated together. Douw was tall, lean, blonde and very handsome, a real charmer. This was a tremendous blow to Danie and he mourned the loss of his brother. As a final act of love, he took the long trip from Pretoria to Standerton to collect his brother’s body and return him home for the funeral. Even though he was only twenty years old at the time, Danie was a strong believer and made a pledge to God, that should he (God) give Douw his life back, he (Danie) would become a full-time evangelist and proclaim this miracle to the world.

As Danie was driving with the body of his brother in a coffin on the back of their pickup, he was praying and pleading with God. When the vehicle crossed a railway track, he was certain that he heard something, like a knocking sound, and pulled over to the side of the road. Convinced that it was his brother who had come back to life, he opened the coffin and stared into the horrific sight of his brother’s pale, lifeless face. Overcome with emotion, he ran into the adjacent corn field and wept for what felt like hours. He later returned, closed the coffin, and drove the rest of the way back home, devastated, but believing that when he became a ‘spiritual’ adult, miracles like this would happen.

The reason why I’m sharing this story with you, is so that you will realize that Danie’s faith was not fake or insincere. There is nothing fake about Danie. He’s as straight as an arrow, but at the same time, intolerant of bullshit. This is why our search for truth was so intense. There was no room for ho-hum, superficial faith. It was all or it was nothing.

So, in the interim, in this present day and time, it is nothing.

Food for thought:

Did you know that there have been a least 18 000 different gods or deities over the centuries; there are currently over 4000 religions all believing they are right; there are about 45 000 different Christian denominations all professing to have the truth, all using the same manual.

Danie shared a parable at the end of his book A Man and His God about a coffee machine:

‘For thousands of years, generation after generation, the manual of the gods was handed down, and generation after generation have studied it, spoken about it, altered it, written other books about it, philosophized over it, argued over it and fought over it. Someone should surely have all the answers by now? Or maybe it’s a manmade fabrication?  

It’s almost like buying a new coffee machine. First you read the instruction manual in order to use the machine effectively and in order to make the best quality coffee. Then you plug the machine in, add the water and the ground coffee and voila, you have successfully made a cup of delicious coffee. 

Or, alternatively, you buy the coffee machine; study the manual; discuss the manual with other people; form a study group; argue that someone is not interpreting it right; have a dispute and cause separation with family or friends; philosophize over it; write a few additional books regarding it; start a war over it; pay a wealthy mega preacher to babble on about it; or just sit comfortably in your recliner and stare at it?’

 

We can honestly say now, that we didn’t manage to make real coffee. Despite our intense efforts and our earnest search, it remained a phantom, a mirage. We have yet to find someone who has made real coffee, because I am sure they would not be able to keep it a secret. The world would know about it.