Now here is something you very rarely experience, especially in humans and religion.
The meaning
of unconditional love is, simply put, a love with no strings attached. It is a
love that is freely offered and not based on what the other party will give in
return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness. This love
is called unconditional or Agapé love (a godly kind of love).
The one
place where I have seen this kind of love is in dogs. They love you no matter
what. You can be angry or irritated, they will always return. Other than dogs,
this love is almost nowhere to be seen. The gods of religion, who are supposed
to have this exceptional quality, always seems to have strings attached – love me
or else. Or else what? Punishment, hell, scolding, penance, torture or money? It
is evident in all of the written manuals.
There are a
lot of churches that proclaim to practice this love, until someone has a
different opinion, or understanding or interpretation from theirs. See how they
react then. I have seen families break apart over petty differences - what makes
one right and the other wrong. If you agree with their view, they Agapé love
you, but if you don’t, they will have to take leave of you, even banish you.
As mentioned
in previous posts, we were sincerely searching for truth, which was nowhere to
be found. But there’s one place I did find unconditional love, and here is my
story:
We had just
moved into a new flat, which was very nicely renovated, including beautiful
tiles on the garage floor. I have the habit of washing our car every Saturday
morning without fail. It so happened that on one particular Saturday morning,
the ladies who cut Murphy’s hair were there to give him his monthly trim (he loves
them and loves the “treatment”). While I was washing the car, I noticed that
their car was also quite dirty and offered to wash it while I was busy. After hosing
down both cars, I went into the garage to get the chamois to dry off the cars. My
shoes were wet and I managed to get the garage floor tiles wet too. I slipped
with my prosthetic legs, landing with a crash on my right thigh, shattering the
femur and fracturing my pelvic bone. I just lay their crying in agony. I was
unable to move and Tanja was unable to move me either. All I wanted in that
moment, with the excruciating pain, was to die. I knew how much difficulty
Tanja was going to have with me. I lay on the cold garage floor for about twenty
minutes, until the ambulance arrived and they could carefully lift me onto a
stretcher to take me to the emergency rooms at the nearest hospital.
Being a
diabetic and an amputee, the doctor scheduled emergency surgery. A stainless-steel pin (the length of my upper leg) was inserted. I was supposed
to remain in hospital for about ten days, but booked myself out on the fifth. I
knew that the travelling back and forth put extra financial and emotional strain
on Tanja, but she never showed it and never complained. Being the only bread
winner, she made me as comfortable as possible, ensuring that everything
was within reach, and went to work. She checked in with me every half hour and
always sent tons of emoticons of love and kisses.
PS: It took weeks before I could wear my prosthetic legs, due to swelling, and months before I could walk comfortably again. A very trying time!
Post surgery March 2023
One afternoon, while Tanja was working at her computer, I fell asleep, content that she was just in the next room. I clearly remember feeling something press down on the foot end of the bed. I opened my eyes but saw nothing, but sensed that there was definitely something, and it was slowly moving closer to me. I could not see it, but was fully aware of this presence. I felt no fear, nor did I feel uncomfortable. It leapt forward and I found myself cocooned in a warm embrace, an unconditional love. It expected nothing in return - I had nothing to give anyway - no prayer, no praise, no worship, no songs, nothing. I cannot tell you how long the embrace lasted, but when I finally became fully aware of my surroundings, Tanja was standing right next to me. I wasted no time telling her about my supernatural experience and told her that what I experienced is what I see in her. She immediately objected saying that she is not a god. “I know,” I said, “but you’re the closest thing to it!”
A friend
once said to me that heaven is missing an angel, and she’s with me. My mother has
often said similar things to me, knowing that I’m not always the easiest person
to live with. No, can’t be. Not me??
I have been
married to Tanja for thirty-seven years and I can honestly say that they have
been the best years of my life.
I often hear from my buddies about the disputes they’re having with their wives, and I think to myself (a dangerous pastime, I know), “how am I so lucky?” I’m temperamental, stubborn, moody and sometimes verbally expressive, but never in all our married life, has she looked down on me, belittled me, judged me or sworn at me. Unconditional love, that’s what I have.
If I believed in heaven,
then surely, yes, there is an angel missing there.
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