Whenever I hear the phrase “don’t rain on my parade,” I always think of that Robin Williams movie Mrs. Doubtfire where he’s doing a montage with his brother to find the right look, and they sing the Barbara Streisand song.
But here’s a little history: It was first created by
songwriter Bob Merrill and then composed by the famous Jule Styne back in 1964
when they birthed the song “Don’t Rain on My Parade.” But most people wouldn’t
know that or those names because it gained widespread popularity after Barbara
Streisand sang it in the 1964 musical “Funny Girl.”
I’m quite aware of the fact that the original words are “don’t
rain on my parade”, but it somehow lacks a real punch. It’s a far more extreme emotional
experience than the phrase lets onto. Let’s say, for example, you’re having a
conversation with a (so-called) bestie about a life-altering experience. You’re
super excited and share this new joy in your life with your friend, but for
some reason you can’t help but feel like they stole the helium right out of
your balloon.
Author and life coach Martha Beck defines these “thieves” as
“… a person who sees virtue in pessimism. With one well-placed jab, he/she can
let the air out of any good time, and make a bad time feel even worse.”
Many of us have found ourselves on both sides of the
thievery, but it’s no fun being on either side of the fence. On the one side
you lack the ability to share in someone else’s good news because you’re
probably that way inclined. Or you’re the victim and feel utter disappointment
when this person pees on your parade, stealing the moment from you.
Staying focused on your positive feelings and ignoring the
parade peeing is not an easy feat. One thing’s for sure; you deserve to
surround yourself with people who encourage you to shine and stay shining. I’m
not saying honesty is a bad thing because sometimes we do need a dose of
reality, but being honest with someone because you sincerely care is far
different from being the parade pisser. You will know the difference, even feel
it.
The parade pisser seems threatened or uncomfortable when
something good happens in your life, causing your joy to fade and your light to
dim. Don’t, I repeat, don’t dim yourself down. Dimming yourself down sometimes
happens when you feel guilty for the good thing that’s happened to you.
The bottom line is this; you shouldn’t have to feel like you
have to hold back on the joys of your life because of someone who is struggling
to see the joy in their own life. This is not fair to you. It will bring not
only you, but the other person into a space that is smaller and less
comfortable for you both. You need to take full responsibility and honor all
that you have to offer.
To the parade pisser I have the following message: When you
feel yourself ready to strap on your pissing cape and dim down someone else’s
enthusiasm, stop yourself. Move through
the actions of encouragement and support (even if you have to fake it), and see
if your emotions follow your lead. Re-examine
your motives. Your reactions to others say more about you than it does about
them.
On the other hand, if you find yourself being dimmed by
someone when you try to share a joy in your own life, don’t dim down your light
to protect them. If someone's negativity is affecting you, it's okay to set
boundaries. Politely let them know that you prefer not to engage in negative
conversations or that you need some space.
Reject the negative assumptions and move on. Give yourself
permission to be surrounded by people who will lift you up, build your confidence
and support your vision. You deserve to be surrounded with people who make you
feel like you’re becoming a better version of who you were meant to be.
Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to remove yourself from toxic friendships
and make room for genuine parade enthusiasts.
The reason why I chose this topic for my post was because we
have firsthand experience with people who cannot share our enthusiasm with us.
As most of you who read our blog know, we have had a few very difficult years
behind us – financial, health, limbs, etc. Our suffering was not due to a lack
of trying or from giving up. We have tried so many things as mentioned in my
post “If at first”, and in all our efforts, there have always been those who felt
our pain, encouraged us and believed in us. And yet there have also been those
who felt it necessary to criticize and condemn. All I can say to these parade
pissers is SHAME ON YOU!
If you find yourself being dimmed down by someone else’s
negativity, take heart, lift your head high, give it your best, shine and keep
shining. You ARE worth it!
So, watch out world, here we come!
I’d like for you to read this piece below that someone sent
me, then read the whole piece in reverse. It’s mind blowing!
Today was the absolute worst
day ever
And don’t try to convince me
that
There’s something good in every
day
Because, when you take a close
look,
This world is a pretty evil
place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine
through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t
last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one’s surroundings are
good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million
years hear me say that
Today was a good day
Now let’s read the whole piece in
reverse:
Today was a good day
And you’ll never in a million
year hear me say that
It’s all beyond my control
My attitude
Creates
The reality
I’m sure you can agree that
It’s not true that good exists
Only if one’s surroundings are
good
True happiness can be obtained
Because
It’s all in the mind and heart
And it’s not true that
Satisfaction and happiness don’t
last.
Some goodness does shine
through once in a while
Even if
This world is a pretty evil
place.
Because, when you take a closer
look,
There’s something good in every
day
And don’t try to convince me
that
Today was the absolute worst
day ever.
No more pissing on my parade! I’m
the star of my own story 😊
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