I was
thinking - a dangerous past time I know, but bear with me. When I was still an
active mechanic working in my own workshop, we often had a customer who
would want to save money on vehicle repairs, either due to lack of finances or
because they thought vehicle maintenance wasn't that important. One way for them
to save money was if they bought their own parts. Some vehicle parts can be exceptionally
expensive, especially when they’re genuine manufacturer parts. Fortunately,
most vehicles and trucks can be fitted with “aftermarket” parts which are just
as good as the genuine parts. Sometimes these genuine parts are simply
repackaged under a different brand. But then there are the really
cheap-ass Chinese brands. So basically, you get what you pay for.
Our workmanship
always carried a guarantee and my personal stamp of approval. Yes, mistakes are
sometimes made – we’re only human, not gods – but owning up to a mistake is part
of building lasting customer relationships. Before doing a specific job, Tanja
would send the customer a quotation which needed to be signed and returned
before we proceeded with repairs. We not only guaranteed our workmanship, but
also the parts which we supplied. When customers asked if they could buy their
own parts, that part of the guarantee fell away. Should a part be faulty
(which did happen), they would need to exchange the part themselves, under the
suppliers’ guarantee, and pay to have the repairs done again. So, in the end,
it was much better if we took the whole guarantee on ourselves to save time and
effort.
Still, you
had customers buying their own parts, wanting to save where they could, and willing
to take the risk. Some customers would ask what the cheapest way would be to do
a repair? Now, if you knew me then, you would know that I was not the type of
mechanic who took shortcuts. But the funny thing is that these same people would
also ask what guarantee I would give them? And this was my infamous and
original answer: A Cup-of-Boiling-Water guarantee. A perplexed customer would
then ask what it entailed, to which I would respond: As long as you can dangle
your loose (private) body part in a cup of boiling water, that’s how long the
guarantee would be. So, either do the job right or leave.
Would you
buy a new product if there was no after sales service, no guarantee? No, you
wouldn’t. You wouldn’t buy a television, household appliances, furniture or a
vehicle without knowing that you’re covered should there be any unforeseen
problem. A guarantee gives you peace of mind. If the thing breaks it will
either be replaced or repaired by the manufacturer. In other words, for a
certain duration of time, breakages will be covered by the manufacturer.
Disappointingly,
for us humans, there’s no guarantee when it comes to spare body parts or
malfunctioning hard- and software. You get issued and have to make do with what
you get - Any defects, grow with it. Any parts failure, live with it (or without
it if you can). Total breakdown, bury it. It’s a Cup-of-Boiling-Water guarantee.
What is
interesting about nature is that there are certain creatures that can re-grow
their appendages: lizards never stop growing and can re-grow lost tails;
starfish re-grow complete limbs and can even regenerate a completely new
starfish from a broken off limb; certain worms can grow a new head; deer are
the only mammals that can grow new appendages i.e. antlers. Unfortunately,
humans, as intelligent and progressive as we may be, are not able to re-grow
any appendages or organs, so if we ‘break’ we’re screwed. Our bodies are able
to adapt in some cases but in other cases it can be fatal.
So where
does the guarantee come in? Well, most people on earth are religious and
believe that their faith will save them, and the guarantee will kick in some
day after they die. Yet, should they be born with any defect or deformity or become terminally ill, there are no spare parts from the
manufacturer. Repairs, if they’re possible, are given to “aftermarket”
repairers. How can this be? Can a manufacturer make claims and then step back
and say: “Make the best with what you’ve been dealt” with no guarantee?
Why then do
millions of people give their money and their time and torment their souls when
it’s only a one-way deal? I say it’s a raw deal! The gods are completely
impotent, and yet man spends countless hours of his time and his money to keep
his faith alive. All with no realistic guarantee!
Man can
build great architectural structures and spacecraft that can take us to the
moon and beyond. We make complex computers and robots and devise mind-blowing
medical breakthroughs. We split the atom and we combine cells. We invent and create, we probe and discover,
we reason and evaluate. Yet, when it comes to religion, mankind is weak and
helpless and totally vulnerable.
There are
very few guarantees in life, so basically, it’s all in your hands. Life can
change in an instant, in the blink of an eye. I have firsthand experience of
this and I’ve witnessed it in many other people too – healthy today, dying
tomorrow. I see it in world events – peace today, war tomorrow. I see it in the
weather - sunshine today, hurricane tomorrow. In the blink of an eye – no guarantees.
I look at
the diversity of mankind and also the similarities. We divide ourselves into
groups, be it race or religion, and yet we’re all just striving to stay alive,
striving to make ends meet, striving to be the master of our own destiny and not
the slave. Since the earliest days of mankind, we’ve had to conquer fear and
fight for survival. Everyone yearns for light, love, peace, happiness,
contentment and yet when it comes down to brass tax, there’s no guarantee.
No, it
doesn’t make sense to me. As far as I’m concerned and if it were up to me …
No
guarantee - No sale!
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